Julien Baker and TORRES Downhill Both Ways Meaning and Review

A Haunting Collaboration Between Two Indie Greats

"Downhill Both Ways" is a deeply stirring collaboration between Julien Baker and TORRES, featured on their joint album Send A Prayer My Way. Right from the first line, Baker plants the listener in a moment of quiet despair: sitting on a curb outside a discount tobacco and beer store, instantly grounding the song in raw imagery and existential fatigue. Over high-pitched, glimmering instrumentation, her voice doesn’t just sing; it aches. The production enhances her delivery beautifully, amplifying that sense of emotional disorientation and world-weariness that has become a hallmark of her songwriting.

A Title That Says Everything

The title, introduced by Baker during a pop-up show in New York on December 11, 2024, references the ironic phrase parents say about walking to school uphill both ways. It’s a metaphor that encapsulates the whole track, life feeling like a constant struggle, regardless of direction. But rather than mocking that generational exaggeration, Baker seems to adopt it as a bitter truth. Her lyricism throughout the song is filled with poetic contradictions and emotional seesaws: “Could've been anything I want / But there's nothing that I'm gonna stay.” This tension gives the song its power as it wrestles between numb acceptance and the faint flicker of desire for change.

Julien Baker at Her Emotional Best

One of the song's most affecting qualities is how it allows Baker to shine at her vulnerable best. TORRES’ production contributions give the track a haunting, spacious atmosphere that leaves room for silence, breath, and pain. The instrumental breaks, which stretch out in the latter half of the song, don’t feel like filler,  they're emotional echoes, the sound of someone staring out of a car window lost in thought. It’s these quiet stretches that give the song its weight, letting the listener sit in the same space as the narrator’s heavy reflections.

Bleak Yet Beautiful Storytelling

Lyrically, the song toes the line between the spiritual and the existential. Lines like “Brother, if you wanna, we can split our cash / For a little fresh tar and fiberglass” are bleak but somehow communal, there’s a sense of solidarity in shared hopelessness. Even when Baker sings about cynicism, despair, and chasing bad dreams, there's a subtle warmth underneath,  a quiet invitation to feel less alone in your confusion. This tension between disillusionment and empathy is what makes “Downhill Both Ways” more than just another sad song. It’s a portrait of survival through emotional honesty.

A Standout Moment on Send A Prayer My Way

In the context of Send A Prayer My Way, this track stands out not only for its poetic brilliance but for how seamlessly Baker and TORRES mesh their sensibilities. It’s a slow burn, a song that doesn’t demand attention but earns it with each repeated listen. “Downhill Both Ways” captures that quiet, universal truth that sometimes, the hardest part of life is realizing how it keeps looping forward, backward, it all feels the same. And yet, in the hands of artists like Baker and TORRES, that realization becomes something achingly beautiful.

Listen to Julien Baker and TORRES Downhill Both Ways

Julien Baker and TORRES Downhill Both Ways Lyrics Meaning Explained 

The meaning of Downhill Both Ways by Julien Baker and TORRES is a poignant exploration of existential despair, disillusionment, and the cyclical nature of life’s struggles. Through vivid imagery and introspective reflections, the song captures a deep sense of yearning for connection amidst an overwhelming feeling of stagnation. The lyrics depict a world where the narrator feels trapped in a cycle of suffering, unable to escape the weight of their own fears and regrets. The recurring theme of things heading "downhill both ways" symbolizes the inescapable downward spiral of life, where no matter the direction, the outcome always feels the same. The song paints a raw and honest portrait of life's hardships, offering a reflection on the inevitability of hardship and the human desire to find meaning in the midst of it all.

Verse 1: Confronting Fear and Disillusionment

The song "Downhill Both Ways" opens with the narrator sitting on a curb, with the weight of their greatest fear on their shoulders. The specific mention of "outside the discount tobacco and beer" places the scene in a grim, somewhat bleak environment, suggesting a place of existential discontent. The line "Thought if I dove, it would get more clear / But it's all brown" hints at a failed attempt at clarity, where instead of finding answers, everything becomes murkier. The color "brown" evokes decay, confusion, and a lack of clarity, emphasizing the narrator’s inability to escape their inner turmoil or find resolution.

Verse 2: Reflections on Mortality and Isolation

In the second verse, the narrator reflects on the fleeting nature of life, noting how "half of my friends got a foot in the soil," a metaphor for death. The mention of "ballpoint pen and aluminum foil" paints a picture of people trying to make do with the little resources they have in a world that feels cold and indifferent. The phrase "shuffling off this old mortal coil" is a direct reference to death, symbolizing the desire to escape life’s struggles. The narrator offers someone a ride, possibly seeking connection or companionship amidst their own confusion, with the lines "If you wanna hop in, I'll give you a ride / God, I'd really love it if you would make it tonight." This invitation suggests a longing for shared experiences, even in a time of personal darkness.

Verse 3: Disillusionment with Life and a Desire for Numbness

In verse three, the narrator seems to reflect on their disillusionment with life, saying, "Called it a miracle / Now you're learning what a living means." What was once considered miraculous now seems like a harsh reality. The line "When everyone's as miserable as you" highlights the universal experience of suffering, suggesting that misery is not unique to the narrator but shared by those around them. The narrator expresses a shift in perspective, as they say, "I don’t wanna be cynical anymore," indicating a desire to move past negativity. However, they would rather "stay asleep" in a world where everyone is "miserable like me," which reveals a reluctance to face reality—a retreat into the comfort of numbness where the pain is shared.

Verse 4: Attempts at Escape and the Futility of Change

Verse four introduces more existential themes with the narrator’s proposal to split money for "a little fresh tar and fiberglass," a symbolic gesture that seems to suggest a temporary fix for deeper emotional wounds. This could represent attempts at self-repair or escape through means that don’t address the root cause of pain. "Shooting the moon about death and tax and gasoline" connects life's mundane struggles (taxes, daily survival) with more profound themes of death, hinting at the inevitability of burdens both physical and existential. The lines "When I give you a promise just to prove it’s a con / Tryin' to be honest, I’m gonna get gone" suggest that the narrator is aware of the futility of promises and the deception inherent in trying to appear "honest" while planning to escape. The image of "In bed with my running shoes on and chasing a bad dream" paints a picture of someone always ready to run, even in the midst of rest, forever chasing an unattainable or harmful goal.

Verse 5: Resignation and the Futility of Change

The final verse underscores the narrator's disillusionment with change and the cycles of life. "Could’ve been anything I want / But there’s nothing that I’m gonna stay" conveys regret over missed opportunities and an overwhelming sense of resignation. Despite the possibility of change, "You change and then you change back," the outcome still feels the same. This reveals a sense of futility in trying to alter the course of one’s life, as nothing seems to stick or improve. The lines "You could be any way you choose, but / What's the matter when it looks the same?" reflect a deep existential questioning—why change when nothing truly seems different? The refrain "Now it’s downhill both ways" encapsulates the overall sentiment of the song, symbolizing the narrator’s belief that no matter what direction they take, life always feels like it’s heading toward decline. It suggests the inescapable and cyclical nature of their struggles, no matter what choices they make

Instrumental Outro: A Moment of Reflection

The instrumental outro acts as a reflective coda, offering a moment of silence or introspection after the intense emotional journey of the lyrics. This pause allows the listener to sit with the unresolved emotions, mirroring the song’s themes of uncertainty and the unspoken weight of the narrator’s experience.

Julien Baker and TORRES Downhill Both Ways Lyrics

[Verse 1]

I'm sitting on a curb

With my greatest fear

Outside the discount tobacco and beer

Thought if I dove, it would get more clear

But it's all brown

[Verse 2]

Oh, half of my friends got a foot in the soil

Ballpoint pen and aluminum foil

Shuffling off this old mortal coil

Just to get out

So if you wanna hop in, I'll give you a ride

God, I'd really love it if you would make it tonight

I'll try to pick you up around four or five and

Go downtown

[Verse 3]

Called it a miracle

Now you're learning what a living means

When everyone's as miserable as you

I don't wanna be cynical anymore

Think I'd rather stay asleep

Where everyone's miserable like me

[Instrumental]

[Verse 4]

Brother, if you wanna, we can split our cash

For a little fresh tar and fiberglass

Shooting the moon about death and tax and gasoline

When I give you a promise just to prove it's a con

Tryin' to be honest, I'm gonna get gone

In bed with my running shoes on and chasing a bad dream

Down, yeah

[Instrumental]

[Verse 5]

Could've been anything I want

But there's nothing that I'm gonna stay

You change and then you change back

You could be any way you choose, but

What's the matter when it looks the same?

Going out and going back?

Now it's downhill both ways

[Instrumental Outro]