Julien Baker and TORRES Off The Wagon Meaning and Review

A Gentle Yet Powerful Introduction

Off The Wagon by Julien Baker and TORRES is a hauntingly beautiful collaboration that captures the bleak poetry of survival and relapse. The track, part of their joint album Send A Prayer My Way, opens with the unmistakable vulnerability of Baker’s voice, supported by a tender acoustic guitar. There's a subdued electronic undercurrent that adds subtle emotional weight, never overpowering the folk-forward sound. From the very first line, “Drivin’ the block / To put off getting home,” the song sets a tone of weary resignation, evoking the daily grind of someone chasing fleeting moments of relief.

Poetic Despair in the Everyday

The lyrical imagery paints a vivid picture of life on the edge, where even minor escapes like getting a little stoned or smoking after a shift become emotional lifelines. Baker’s verses are emotionally raw, yet they never feel melodramatic. TORRES complements her perfectly in the chorus, the two blending their voices to reflect the shared ache of simply trying to feel good in a world that offers little reward for holding it together. The phrase “They say living is something that you choose” lands with intense emotional clarity, deeply personal yet universally felt.

An Honest Chorus

When the chorus reaches its central message, “It makes sense / With no chips left to lose,” the full emotional weight of the song settles in. There is no tidy hope here, just a brutal, honest confrontation with what it means to keep going when you feel like you have nothing left. It is not about glamorizing self-destruction, but rather empathizing with it. The vocal blend between Baker and TORRES enhances this theme, turning private thoughts into a kind of communal resilience.

A Verse That Hits Home

The second verse is where the full gravity of the track lands. “Everybody knows you're off the wagon / Still hanging on for dear life” offers a painfully accurate portrayal of the cycles people fall into when trying to cope. The line about the pageant not being worth it cuts deep, touching on the exhaustion of keeping up appearances and trying to "do it right." These reflections come without moral judgment, only understanding. The tone remains soft, but the emotions behind the lyrics are razor-sharp.

A Performance to Remember

First performed live at The Mercury Lounge on December 11, 2024, Off The Wagon has already proven to be a standout moment in the TORRES and Baker partnership. The instrumental outro lets the track breathe, giving the listener a moment to sit with the heaviness. It is a song about vulnerability and the quiet desperation that often goes unnoticed. With this collaboration, Baker and TORRES have created a moving testament to the fight to feel something real, even in the darkest stretches of the road.

Listen to Julien Baker and TORRES Off The Wagon

Julien Baker and TORRES Off The Wagon Lyrics Meaning Explained 

The meaning of Off The Wagon by Julien Baker and TORRES is a poignant exploration of the internal struggle between addiction, emotional numbness, and the desire for relief. The song delves into the cyclical nature of trying to cope with pain through fleeting distractions, like substance use, and the crushing realization that nothing truly offers escape. It speaks to the weariness of living in a constant state of survival, where each day feels like an ongoing battle to find meaning or solace. Through its raw lyrics and somber tone, Off The Wagon conveys the complex emotions of clinging to life while feeling disconnected from it, exposing the exhaustion that comes with living in this emotional and physical tug-of-war.

Verse 1: Avoidance and Struggle

“Drivin' the block / To put off getting home” sets the tone of avoidance. The speaker is deliberately wasting time, circling the block rather than going home — suggesting home is either empty, emotionally heavy, or associated with loneliness, addiction, or depression. The next line, “It's a whole lot of work / To get a little bit stoned,” reveals how even the act of getting high, which once might have been a release, now feels like a laborious effort. This reflects how coping mechanisms can start to feel like obligations when they lose their thrill or effectiveness. The lines “I'm threading the needle / Changing the dose / 'Til I'm immune to / The cure” carry a devastating double meaning. “Threading the needle” refers to both injecting drugs and delicately adjusting behaviors. The speaker is tweaking their drug use — changing dosages — trying to reach some kind of emotional relief. But now, they’ve become “immune to the cure,” meaning nothing works anymore. Even what once helped now feels ineffective.

Verse 1: Distractions and Fading Hope

In the following lines, “When you have not a thing else / Left to look forward to / Outside of hitting the road / Burning one after / Your shift at the restaurant / Getting a ride to the show,” the song paints a portrait of a small, cyclical life with few rewards. The only glimpses of relief are fleeting — smoking a joint after a long shift at a service job or catching a ride to a show. The speaker has no long-term goals or hope, only momentary distractions. There’s deep weariness here, and a sense of being stuck in survival mode.

Chorus: The Conflict of Feeling and Numbness

The chorus, “It makes sense / To wanna feel good / It makes sense / To want not to feel” is the emotional heart of the song. It empathizes with the urge to either feel something pleasurable or feel nothing at all. There’s no moralizing, just understanding. Whether it's chasing a high or going numb, both are valid responses to pain. The line “They say living is / Something that you choose / But it makes sense / With no chips left to lose” challenges the idea that life is simply a choice. When someone has “no chips left” — no hope, support, or emotional reserves — how can you expect them to “choose” life? It’s a heartbreaking commentary on how survival is much more complex than people assume.

Verse 2: Relapse, Shame, and Disillusionment

The second verse begins with “Everybody knows you're off the wagon” which implies a fall from sobriety. The speaker is known to have relapsed, and it's no secret. It’s public knowledge, maybe even gossip. There’s shame and exposure in this line. “Still hanging on for dear life / While it's dragging you beneath the wheels” evokes the sense that, even though they’ve relapsed, the speaker isn’t giving up — they’re clinging to life even as addiction or depression drags them down. The image of being pulled “beneath the wheels” evokes being run over by the very thing you’re holding onto, like addiction or routine. There’s no relief in giving in, only more damage.

Verse 2: The Futility of the “Pageant” and Acceptance

“Think you're finally finding out the pageant / Ain't worth it, no one does it right” symbolizes the performance of keeping it together — pretending to be okay, trying to meet societal standards. Now the speaker sees through it. No one really has it figured out. No one is “doing life right.” It’s all a show, and the disillusionment is profound. The final lines, “You get the hand you get and try / To deal,” are a clever double entendre. It refers to both the metaphor of life as a card game (you play the hand you’re dealt) and “deal” as a reference to drug culture. The speaker acknowledges that you deal with life however you can — through drugs, music, distraction, or grit. It’s raw acceptance of limited agency and imperfect choices.

Instrumental Outro: Space for Reflection

The instrumental outro allows space for reflection. After such a heavy emotional release, the silence becomes a kind of catharsis. It’s a moment to sit with everything that’s just been said — a pause rather than a conclusion.

Off The Wagon Meaning

The lyrics of Off The Wagon aren't just storytelling; they are confession, resignation, and a fragile kind of defiance all at once. Baker and TORRES don’t just describe addiction or burnout; they live in its emotional landscape, offering empathy to those stuck in survival mode. Each line peels back another layer of exhaustion, disappointment, and the quiet struggle to just keep going.

Julien Baker and TORRES Off The Wagon Lyrics 

[Verse 1: Baker]

Drivin' the block

To put off getting home

It's a whole lot of work

To get a little bit stoned

I'm threading the needle

Changing the dose

'Til I'm immune to

The cure

When you have not a thing else

Left to look forward to

Outside of hitting the road

Burning one after

Your shift at the restaurant

Getting a ride to the show

[Chorus: Baker & TORRES]

It makes sense

To wanna feel good

It makes sense

To want not to feel

They say living is

Something that you choose

But it makes sense

With no chips left to lose

[Verse 2: Baker & TORRES, Baker]

Everybody knows you're off the wagon

Still hanging on for dear life

While it's dragging you beneath the wheels

Think you're finally finding out the pageant

Ain't worth it, no one does it right

You get the hand you get and try

To deal

[Instrumental]