NF Who I Was Meaning and Review

“Who I Was” featuring MGK from NF’s album FEAR attempts to merge two emotionally driven artists, but the collaboration lands unevenly from the start. The track opens with a slow, moody sample that sets the stage for something introspective, but MGK’s entrance disrupts more than it enhances. While his verse is packed with personal anecdotes and heartfelt confessions, the delivery feels overwrought and at times unintentionally cringe. He clearly aims for emotional resonance, but the execution wavers between melodrama and forced depth, making the opening stretch feel weaker than it should.

MGK’s Verse

MGK’s storytelling contains vivid imagery such as ashes, scattered emotions, and spiritual reckoning, but the sheer density of metaphors becomes exhausting rather than impactful. Lines about his father’s urn or existential wandering are meant to anchor the verse in raw vulnerability. Instead, they land with a clumsiness that distracts from the sincerity behind them. He tries to paint his inner chaos with sweeping strokes, yet the performance undercuts the writing, causing the emotional weight to fall flat. It is a clear example of ambition clouding authenticity.

NF Takes Control

Fortunately, NF reclaims the song the moment his voice cuts through the mix. His presence brings immediate clarity and emotional grounding, shifting the track back toward the introspective weight it was aiming for. NF’s chorus, simple yet haunting, captures the theme of identity disintegration with far more precision. When he fully steps into the second verse, his flow, tone, and restraint provide the stability the song needed all along. He brings a controlled emotional intensity that feels lived in rather than performed.

NF’s Verse and Themes

NF’s verse is sharp, self reflective, and painfully honest. He navigates anger, generational trauma, and fatherhood with a striking sense of self awareness. Lines like “Hope they don’t wind up like Dad / Stuck in this loop like I am” speak to familiar NF themes, but they are delivered with a maturity that elevates the material. Even his mid verse acknowledgment of a flubbed line feels fitting, reinforcing the imperfect humanity he is describing. NF brings nuance where MGK brought noise, and the contrast makes the latter’s shortcomings more apparent.

NF Who I Was Review 

With production from Aaron Chafin, NF, and Jeff Sojka, the instrumental foundation is strong, somber, atmospheric, and introspective. But “Who I Was” is ultimately a tale of two performances. MGK reaches for vulnerability but does not quite grasp it, while NF effortlessly embodies it. The song ends up feeling like a collaboration in name only because NF carries the emotional and musical weight from the moment he enters. It is not a bad track, but it is one that clearly shines only when NF is steering it.

Listen To NF Who I Was 

NF Who I Was Lyrics Meaning Explained

The meaning of Who I Was featuring MGK by NF is a deep exploration of identity, loss, and personal transformation. The song reflects the struggle of confronting past mistakes, trauma, and emotional pain while trying to redefine oneself. MGK’s verse navigates grief, regret, and the search for guidance through vivid imagery and personal anecdotes, including the death of his father and the collapse of relationships. NF’s contributions anchor the track in self-awareness and reflection, addressing anger, childhood wounds, and the responsibility of fatherhood. Together, the two artists examine the tension between who they once were and who they are striving to become, creating a raw, introspective portrait of emotional and spiritual reckoning.

Chorus Analysis

"Ash and dust, everything I care about enough, burning up" opens the track with a symbolic image of identity collapse, reflecting the idea that the former self has been reduced to nothing. Both NF and MGK use this chorus to express the emotional disintegration they feel, with "nothing left of who I thought I was" reinforcing the sense that their past identities have been burned away. MGK's ad libs such as "turn my vocals up" highlight his search for clarity, mirroring the thematic journey of trying to understand who he is beneath the ashes.

MGK Verse Analysis

MGK's verse begins with a vivid sense of emotional stagnation: "I'm stuck in traffic, tryna find my way to a home that I've never known" describes someone moving through life without reaching any place of peace or belonging. "On a GPS with no address" extends this metaphor of directionless existence, emphasizing that he lacks guidance entirely. He turns inward only to find fragmentation, admitting "I'll follow my heart, but my heart is scattered," which he compares to "my father's ashes in the back of the rental after I dropped his urn." This literal, traumatic memory becomes symbolic of everything he has learned emotionally, representing a messy, painful, and difficult-to-contain experience.

MGK continues tying his past to this fractured identity, explaining that "the only love I'll have is gonna crash and burn," referencing the destructive romantic patterns central to his Tickets to My Downfall era. He contrasts financial success with emotional emptiness in the line "the poorest I've felt was after the most I've earned," a commentary on his early rap-driven hustle mindset. His frustration comes out in "the biggest lie told is that no one should be concerned," critiquing the idea that men should suppress emotional struggle. References such as "There's gotta be another highway that don't lead to Hell" connect directly to the themes of addiction and despair in his song Glass House, while "a star to lead me through the darkest night like Christian Bale" uses the Dark Knight iconography to represent a longing for guidance.

MGK then shifts into spiritual introspection. "I hid from God for more than two decades of life" acknowledges his rejection of religious roots, while "when I came back to the light, He didn't ask me if I'm Christian still" conveys unconditional acceptance inspired by the parable of the Prodigal Son. He claims this erased the "archetypes of what people like me become," suggesting he avoided the destructive path typical for those who share his background. His line "Since I was young, my personality split like serpent's tongue" references the duality explored in his Hotel Diablo era, where the conflict between personas was a central theme. Despite the "poison in my body," he admits it "still ain't make me numb," highlighting that self-destruction never fully muted his emotions.

The verse turns to grief with "I lost a best friend and felt all that, cryin' on his open casket while I knelt on that," revealing the depth of his mourning. He confesses broken promises in "I had a best man picked out for my wedding, but instead of getting married, I carried guilt and left all that," painting himself as a "vagabond that broke a bond for Boca Raton," a specific geographic point tied to emotional abandonment. He admits regret, stating he "never kept all that," and concludes with a powerful image: "I left everything behind but this engagement ring and a frozen heart." The ring symbolizes commitment he failed to uphold, while the frozen heart represents emotional shutdown. "I'm standin' in the fire to melt all that" symbolizes confronting trauma to thaw emotional numbness.

NF Chorus and Bridge Analysis

NF's chorus repetition reinforces the theme of identity erosion, but his delivery offers a sharper, more grounded emotional clarity. The bridge's fragmented "I, I, I was" reflects difficulty articulating who he once believed himself to be, mirroring the identity crisis MGK expressed but with more restraint and internal tension.

NF Verse Analysis

When NF enters his verse, the emotional focus shifts from external chaos to internal behavioral patterns, beginning bluntly with "Lash out," immediately naming the problem. He admits he must "take a breath and calm down, try to regulate, don't know how," acknowledging emotional regulation was never modeled for him. "Wasn't taught that in my house" directly ties this struggle to a traumatic upbringing. As a father, NF feels the weight of generational continuity, revealing that seeing his children's smiles makes him "feel sad" because he fears they may "wind up like Dad, stuck in this loop like I am."

The verse becomes more relational with "Called you, never heard back," indicating conflict with someone close. "After everything we've been through, the good and the bad" shows their shared history. When he says "You're 'bout to throw it all away and overreact because I overreacted, karma, I guess," he takes accountability for starting the chain reaction. His self-awareness deepens as he admits "My temper gets the best of me, a part of me that I wish I knew how to get rid of." Calling this flaw "my M.O" frames it as a long-standing pattern rather than isolated incidents. His confession "Say I need you and I love you to death, then turn around and go and treat you like you nothin' but trash" captures the destructive contradiction at the core of many NF songs: the urge to love deeply but the tendency to sabotage relationships through anger. "Love you to death" also echoes the line in his song Running, where he says it to fear, reinforcing his complex emotional patterns. The line is left hanging at "I know," symbolizing emotional interruption or inability to continue without breaking down.

Outro Analysis

The outro revisits his cycles of behavior, starting again with "Sometimes, I lash out," confirming that the loop is ongoing. He repeats that he needs to "take a breath and calm down" but admits again he doesn't know how because it "wasn't taught in my house," grounding the issue in childhood conditioning. His fear for his children returns with "Hope they don't wind up like Dad, stuck in this loop like I am," ending the song on the same unresolved anxiety seen throughout his verse. The final abrupt cutoff "I" mirrors emotional exhaustion and the inability to fully articulate everything he feels.

Who I Was Meaning

MGK's verse deals with father's death, shattered relationships, spiritual awakening, guilt and regret, past addiction, emotional numbness, and identity collapse. NF's verse deals with anger issues, childhood trauma, fear of repeating patterns, failing relationships, fatherhood pressure, and guilt and self-awareness. The song as a whole is an examination of men who are desperately trying to become better than the ghosts of who they used to be. Both artists explore loss, trauma, and self-realization, but NF's clarity and emotional grounding carry the song more effectively than MGK's raw, scattered energy.

NF Who I Was Lyrics

[Chorus: NF & mgk]

Ash and dust

Everything I care about enough

Burning up (Yeah)

(Alright, turn my—uhh, vocals up) Nothing left of who I thought I was

(And then just let it run) I was

[Verse 1: mgk]

I'm stuck in traffic, tryna find my way to a home that I've never known

On a GPS with no address

So I'll follow my heart, but my heart is scattered

Like my father's ashes in the back of the rental after I dropped his urn

Probably a metaphor for everything I've learned

Like how the only love I'll have is gonna crash and burn

Or how the poorest I've felt was after the most I've earned

The biggest lie told is that no one should be concerned

There's gotta be another highway that don't lead to Hell

A star to lead me through the darkest night like Christian Bale

I hid from God for more than two decades of life

And when I came back to the light, He didn't ask me if I'm Christian still

Just opened up His arms and embraced me like I'm His Son

Erasin' all the archetypes of what people like me become

Since I was young, my personality split like serpent's tongue

But all the poison in my body still ain't make me numb

I lost a best friend and felt all that

Cryin' on his open casket while I knelt on that

I had a best man picked out for my wedding

But instead of getting married, I carried guilt and left all that

A vagabond that broke a bond for Boca Raton

Who all along regretted he never kept all that

I left everything behind but this engagement ring and a frozen heart

I'm standin' in the fire to melt all that, yeah

[Chorus: NF]

Ash and dust

Everything I care about enough

(Burn) Burning up

Nothing left of who I thought I was

I was

[Bridge: NF]

I, I, I was

Yeah

(Burn)

[Verse 2: NF]

Lash out

Need to take a breath and calm down

Try to regulate, don't know how

Wasn't taught that in my house

Kids of my own, I step back

Look at those smiles and feel sad

Hope they don't wind up like Dad

Stuck in this loop like I am

I've—

Called you, never heard back

After everything we've been through, the good and the bad

You're 'bout to throw it all away and overreact

Because I overreacted, karma, I guess

My temper gets the best of me

A part of me that I wish I knew how to get rid of

It's the issue I have, my M.O

Say I need you and I love you to death

Then turn around and go and treat you like you nothin' but trash

I know—

[Break: NF]

I know I messed that part up, but—

[Outro: NF]

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

Yeah, I know

Sometimes, I

Lash out

Need to take a breath and calm down

Try to regulate, don't know how

Wasn't taught that in my house

Kids of my own, I step back

Look at those smiles and feel sad

Hope they don't wind up like Dad

Stuck in this loop like I am

I—